


Bros!

by AlchemyAlice



Category: Marvel (Movies), The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Comment Fic, Crack, Drunk Sex, F/M, Past Relationship(s), Snark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-13
Updated: 2012-03-13
Packaged: 2017-11-01 21:45:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 967
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/361602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlchemyAlice/pseuds/AlchemyAlice
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Darcy remembers something that Tony (mostly) doesn't, Jane is rendered awkward, and there is some snarking about polka-dot bras.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bros!

**Author's Note:**

> Comment fic for avengerkink, asking for Darcy having hooked up with Tony at some point in the past, and sarcasm.

Darcy probably should have known this was coming. Thor had come back and now SHIELD agents were running around, and there was talk of  _teamwork_  that filtered down even to Darcy’s lowly cubicle. And come on, she watched the news; she knew exactly who’d show up on a roster with a demigod and Natasha.   
  
“I don’t think I should,” she said carefully.  
  
“Why not? It’ll be so much more convenient, and I need you,” Jane said, actually daring to whip out the puppy eyes.   
  
“You really don’t,” Darcy said dryly, which was true. She’d initially been a bit miffed at how, as soon as they'd arrived in New York, there had been at least five SHIELD scientists fawning over Jane’s work and actually talking to her in her science-y language; just because Darcy was in _political_ science and not _science_ -science did not make it fair that she was swiftly being made redundant. But then Coulson had put her in a cubical on the third floor and started passing her scheduling issues and diplomatic paperwork that she actually knew how to handle, and now she wasn’t feeling particularly redundant at all.  
  
In fact, she was feeling kind of more competent than usual.  
  
She suspected it was all Coulson’s master plan to keep her complacent while they continued to withhold her iPod, but she was willing to play along in the meantime.  
  
“Captain America lives there now,” Jane pointed out. “I know you wanted to meet him. I saw what your desktop background was two months ago.”  
  
“Steve Rogers will never see that fanart, so help me god,” Darcy hissed. “And no. Just, no. Go ahead and move there, Jane—I know you want to be closer to Thor, and that’s totally cool, but I really am not interested in moving into Tony Stark’s ridiculous mansion.”  
  
“Why not?”  
  
She whipped around. “Um.”  
  
Tony Stark had his hands shoved into his trouser pockets, rucking up his righteously tailored suit in such a way as for it to remain artlessly fashionable, even while the lines of the jacket got ruined. “I hear you’re Dr. Foster’s BFF," he said. "You’re welcome to a room if you want one. I have more than enough of them.”   
  
She arched an eyebrow, and took a breath. It was cool, she might only have a BA in poli-sci, but she had a master’s in Awkward. “I have an—”  
  
“You have an apartment in Harlem. That’s, like, so far away from here, god, do you take the subway here? It’s like a 45 minute commute—”  
  
“Mr. Stark.”  
  
“Please, call me Tony.”  
  
“Yep, that’s what you said last time,” Darcy said dryly.   
  
Tony stopped, and finally pulled one of his hands out of his pockets to pull his red-tinted sunglasses an inch down his nose. “Last time?” he echoed.  
  
_Here we go,_ she thought. _Best to get it over with._ “Chicago, 2007. Tech conference held in the James Hotel.”  
  
Tony stared at her for a long moment. Jane looked back and forth between him and Darcy.   
  
Then his eyes widened. “Party crasher chick!” he exclaimed.   
  
Darcy made an ironic ‘Ta-Da!’ gesture.   
  
“You’ve met before?” Jane said in disbelief. She punched Darcy in the arm. “You’ve met Tony Stark before! You didn’t tell me!”  
  
“Ow! Ancient history, dude, and then we actually came within six degrees of him, Kevin Bacon style, so it felt weird to bring it up,” Darcy argued. Then she cocked an eyebrow at Tony. “But yeah, we’ve met.”  
  
“Oh yes, I do know Miss Darcy, here,” Tony said, grinning and leaning on her cube wall. “Spiritually. Ecumenically. Grammatically.”  
  
Well, she might as well go for it at this point. This was actually better than she had anticipated. “ _Biblically_ ,” she said, rolling her eyes, and then she added over Jane’s sputtering, “I’m surprised you remember me at all.”  
  
“Oh honey, how could I forget décolletage like yours? So much better than the average starlet.”   
  
“Wow, just as charming as I remember!”  
  
“Bordering on creepy, and yet still somehow charming,” Jane muttered, “So weird. I think I’m gonna go.”  
  
“You should definitely come and live at the mansion,” Tony said to Darcy as Jane grabbed her purse and walked away. “Do you still have that polka-dot bra?”  
  
“The one with the lace? Sorry, it wore out,” Darcy said. “You could always buy me a replacement, though.”  
  
“Can I see you in it if I guess your size correctly?”  
  
Darcy barked out a laugh. “Dude, you’re the worst!”  
  
“It’s worked in the past,” Tony shrugged, still smiling. His gaze softened slightly. “I hope I wasn’t too much of an ass after the fact? I can’t say I remember all that much beyond the deed.”  
  
“‘Scool, neither do I,” Darcy replied truthfully. It had been an _interesting_  night. “And I’m pretty sure I skedaddled way before you got up. I always cut and run after that kind of thing.”  
  
“A wise move,” Tony said. He’d slid into a perch on the corner of the desk, and now he nudged her with his hip. “This isn’t too awkward, right?”  
  
“Frankly, I was expecting way worse,” Darcy admitted.   
  
Tony shrugged. “We both had fun, right? From what I recall, we definitely had fun.”  
  
Darcy smirked. “Yeah, I’d say so.”  
  
“Then it’s cool,” Tony said expansively. “We can be friends!”  
  
“Without benefits,” she clarified, “Especially if we’re gonna be roomies.”  
  
“Bros only,” Tony agreed.   
  
“We can totally be bros.”  
  
“Bros.”  
  
“Yes.”  
  
“Am I still allowed to buy you that bra?”  
  
“That thing was uber-comfy and actually fit properly; I will totally not stop you.”  
  
“Sweet. Now show me that Cap fanart, I need all the blackmail material I can get.”  
  
Darcy was pretty sure that that was a terrible idea, but it didn’t stop her from grinning and clicking on Finder.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[Podfic] Bros!](https://archiveofourown.org/works/495128) by [kalakirya](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kalakirya/pseuds/kalakirya)
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End file.
